February Fun! Couples Massage, Strap-On Play, Tantric Massage and More

Nikki Ivana, tantra, tantrika, lingam, yoni, prostate massage, BBW Escort, Las Vegas Escort, GFE, Fetish, 702.236.1975, 702-236-1975, 7022361975As February is coming to an end, I want to post an update – things are so so good in my life right now, and I want to share the joy and gratitude.

These incredible things would not happen if I did not have all my good friendclients through sex work.  I am deeply grateful for all previous and ongoing support. Nikki Ivana, tantra, tantrika, lingam, yoni, prostate massage, BBW Escort, Las Vegas Escort, GFE, Fetish, 702.236.1975, 702-236-1975, 7022361975

Here are the highlights of my month for celebration:

I started the month with a really hot sex session.  Since my specialties are anal play and cock worship, that is often the focus of the session.

It was a really lovely treat to connect with someone who loved fucking me and had some serious stamina, and was able to keep up with all the changes I needed for my comfort.  So hot!Nikki Ivana, tantra, tantrika, lingam, yoni, prostate massage, BBW Escort, Las Vegas Escort, GFE, Fetish, 702.236.1975, 702-236-1975, 7022361975

If you did not know – I am also a sex coach.  I got to do a pussy massage coaching session with a sweet couple in England over zoom!

 

So sweet and powerful, and while I prefer in person, I was surprised how much sensation does translate over zoom.

I got to work with three different couples this month.  It was their first time having a threesome for the first two couples, and for the women, it was their first time being with a woman.  I feel so honored to help them open up in this way to explore and expand their experience of pleasure!  With the third couple – I believe this was my third time meeting with them.

It was good too because I was there to give the wife a pussy massage, but her little butthole was almost calling to me.

I followed the energy, and she ended up lying on her side.  I had one finger in her butt and my right hand against her vulva and clitoris, and I made love to her that way with my hands.  She was writhing in pleasure and came in a full body orgasm.  I’m so grateful for that level of familiarity which allowed us to go so deep.  And this from a woman who the husband told me usually needs lots of encouragement to let go and climax!Nikki Ivana, tantra, tantrika, lingam, yoni, prostate massage, BBW Escort, Las Vegas Escort, GFE, Fetish, 702.236.1975, 702-236-1975, 7022361975

I got to have a kink session where I put sounds into his urethra and played with his asshole edging him for as long as I could until he went over the edge in ecstasy!

I gave several tantric sessions, which included singing to the chakras and five elements massage.

Very energetically powerful and sensational.  Using these techniques, I was able to help one clientfriend who experiences erectile dysfunction to get wholly erect and have a full-body orgasm that he could feel tingling all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes.  After that climax, he even went into a mini state of shock.  This reaction is normal – it has happened several times to my clients and me doing this work.  I wrapped him up in the blankets and laid on top of him for warmth and grounding until the shivers passed.  He felt like a new man!Nikki Ivana, tantra, tantrika, lingam, yoni, prostate massage, BBW Escort, Las Vegas Escort, GFE, Fetish, 702.236.1975, 702-236-1975, 7022361975

I had several super hot strap-on sessions!  I love making love to a man’s ass – starting with teasing, kissing, and licking until he is ready for penetration.  Depending on his desires, we focus on sensation only, or we incorporate power exchange with him being in his receptive feminine, taking my cock, loving being a little anal slut/whore…  so hot!

Sometimes the energy flips, and I’m with a dominant friendclient, and he does things to me – like one who I saw who played with my pussy and ass, fucked my face and throat, making me have so much gag spit that he would scoop it out of my mouth and rub it all over my little butthole and finger me.  I opened enough that he was able to put his hard cock inside my asshole and fuck me really good, making me cum through anal stimulation!  So hot!

Nikki Ivana, tantra, tantrika, lingam, yoni, prostate massage, BBW Escort, Las Vegas Escort, GFE, Fetish, 702.236.1975, 702-236-1975, 7022361975
I got to wear a tutu for Taco 22222esday!!!

So, this month has been amazing!  On a personal note – I decided to take a small break from school in order to work ahead in my coaching business.  I got office and event space for meeting with clients and having workshops.  It’s a significant expansion!  Again – the foundation for all this is all my clientfriends who always visit me when they come to Vegas, and I’m so grateful.  I have plenty of classes on the calendar coming up!  Then I want to travel in June.  I’ll be in Austin for a tantra training.  The training is June 10-17, so I would love to meet with people before or after.

I also got invited to teach at a big immersive event in Cabo, Mexico, in November!  This is really a big deal in the tantra world!!!  If you would like to come fall in love with me for a day in Cabo, let me know – I would love to have some sexy fun while I’m there!

:::

Please do let me know if you are in Las Vegas or coming to Las Vegas and would like to experience:

  • full body sensual massage (FBSM)
  • Tantra (lingam, yoni, and sacred spot massage)
  • prostate massage
  • a girlfriend experience (GFE)
  • strap-on/pegging
  • receive oral from me (BBBJ) aka cock worship and/or rimming (DATO)
  • lick my pussy (DATY)
  • play with sensation and explore fetishes
    • light bondage
    • facesitting
    • kinky massage/bondassage
    • FemDom
    • role play
    • spanking
    • impact play
    • water sports
    • feminization
    • CBT

We can go super slow and sensual using tantric techniques or have more aggressive, rough sex.

I can come to you (outcall, in-room massage), or you can come to me (incall).

You can find all my rates at Las Vegas Masseuse – Therapeutic, Sensual and Kinky

Make it a sexy day!
Nikki The Las Vegas Masseuse
7022361975 (text is best – at least at first)

 

 

 

Couples Tantra Massage Las Vegas

A video I made right after a couples tantric massage.

We discussed boundaries and desires and made plan.

We did five elements tantric massage to the wife.

There are 5 main sexual types using the erotic blueprint system.

I gave her a yoni massage.

I taught all these to the husband as well.

We practiced all the 5 senses with her pussy.  Use them as a way to explore…

Then it was the husband’s turn for receiving.  I gave him a slow, wet, sensual blowjob until he came.

:::

Please do let me know if you are in Las Vegas or coming to Las Vegas and would like to experience:

  • full body sensual massage (FBSM)
  • Tantra (lingam, yoni, and sacred spot massage)
  • prostate massage
  • a girlfriend experience (GFE)
  • strap-on/pegging
  • receive oral from me (BBBJ) aka cock worship and/or rimming (DATO)
  • lick my pussy (DATY)
  • play with sensation and explore fetishes
    • light bondage
    • facesitting
    • kinky massage/bondassage
    • FemDom
    • role play
    • spanking
    • impact play
    • water sports
    • feminization
    • CBT

We can go super slow and sensual using tantric techniques or have more aggressive, rough sex.

I can come to you (outcall, in-room massage), or you can come to me (incall).

You can find all my rates at Las Vegas Masseuse – Therapeutic, Sensual and Kinky

Make it a sexy day!
Nikki The Las Vegas Masseuse
7022361975 (text is best – at least at first)

Face Fucking

Laying on her back and relaxing onto the bed she opened her legs for me and invited me in to lick her pussy. I like to lick all around the outer and inner lips. To circle the clit, almost but never quite touching. Teasing, sensing her getting more and more engorged. When I finally did put my tongue on her clit it was fully engorged and round, poking out from her hood. I held still for a long time savoring the electric connection until she couldn’t take it anymore and began to move her hips up and down, her clit moving up and down the tip of my tongue. She steadily built up her pace and increased the pressure until she was grinding her wetness into my entire face.

Our friend watched and waited until we were in a good groove. Then he got on his knees straddling her chest with his rock hard cock right in front of her face. I heard him talking to her about opening her mouth so he could put his cock in, for her to open wide. Watching from my place eating her pussy I saw his hips begin to push forward and pull out, gently for a few strokes, then with more power. From the sounds she was making I could tell he was pushing his cock deeper and deeper into her mouth, possibly down her throat the times it sounded like she was gagging. I didn’t think it was possible but she got even wetter on my mouth and face.

We stayed in this position until he said he was ready to fuck her.

To be continued…

PS – I could not find a good pic for this story.  So… I thought I would share my search results.

https://www.google.com/search?q=eating+pussy+face+fucking+threesome&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=1yM0VZbGLcXdoASDwoCIBA&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAg&biw=1333&bih=636

 

Super Slow Ass Licking

All 3 of us got completely naked and went to the bed. He lay down on his back and I watched as she slowly approached his hard cock and took it in her mouth. There is this amazing sensation when you are receiving pleasure from 2 different people. Each person has their own feel of course, but there is this other sensation you feel as they switch off. A feeling of your body acclimating from one person to another, from one sensation to another. It’s a bit like the feeling of free-falling but completely pleasurable. I watched his face as that feeling washed over him when her mouth went onto his cock where mine had been moments before.

 Nikki 7022361975 las vegas masseuse redhead escort BBw escortAs they settled into that activity my eyes traveled down her body to land at her ass. It looked delicious and since she was on her knees giving him a blow job her butt was sticking out and up a little, cheeks round and taught and spread a little. I went around behind her and began peppering her with little pecks, each one getting closer and closer to her rosebud. When I was about to touch it with my lips I slowed way down so I could enjoy the sensation of pleasurable tension. As I approached it got stronger and stronger and I heard her moan with his cock in her mouth.

My lips came down on her rosebud slowly but firmly. I rested my face there for a moment before pulling my lips away with a big smack. Sticking out my tongue I licked all around her rosebud, on the inside of her ass cheeks, close down to her pussy, up toward her tail bone, teasing her and working her up more and more. Finally I placed my tongue on her asshole and let it sit there as the sensation of that connection sunk into my body.

When I was ready I began to move my tongue super slowly over her anus. Slow enough so I could feel every fold and crevice, so slow I could feel the different textures as I moved from place to place on her anus. With each super slow lick I pressed my tongue into her body a little more firmly, eventually sinking it into her past the outer rim and thrilling her to a new level with my super gentle penetration.

To be continued…

Slowly Kissing, Licking And Sucking Pussy

While I was on my knees sucking his cock T stood up and started walking over as she stripped off her clothes. He stood up and when she got to him they began to kiss as she helped him take his clothes off. I stayed on his cock for awhile but her pussy was right there in front of me and it wasn’t too long before I took my mouth off his cock and began to apply it to her pussy.

He walked around and stood behind her kissing and lightly biting her neck and reaching around to play with her breasts. I stayed on my knees as he maneuvered her directly in front of me. I approached her pussy slowly. I peppered her upper thighs and mons with soft quick kisses as I inhaled deeply through my nose smelling her sweet scent and exhaling through my mouth letting her feel my warm moist breath on her pussy lips. As I got closer and closer to the point where her pussy lips met she tilted her hips so I could have better access. I began with kissing and quickly switched to licking, working my way from the outside in, covering every bit of her with saliva until I got deep enough into her lips – around her clit and entroitus – that I met her moisture and was able to lick it into my mouth and taste it. I alternated my stimulation between slow and fast, soft and hard, shallow and deep, licking and sucking, direct to the clit and everywhere but the clit.

All the while he was behind her, stimulating the top half of her body. His cock pressed into her buttocks. He slid his hand down in between her legs to access her pussy from behind. It was a bit challenging because of the angle so we decided to move to the bed.

To be continued…

My friend T

Double Vaginal Penetration | Cock Worship

double vaginal penetration Nikki 7022361975 las vegas masseuse redhead escort BBw escortDouble Vaginal. Penetration. Something that as soon as I heard about it I knew I wanted. I had a guy tell me about it once and he said it could only be done with 2 bare cocks so I thought it was something I would never get since my husband is the only one I go bare with. One time, after my young boy toy and I had been fucking all day and I still wanted more I was leaned back against the massage table and he was fucking me with a dildo. Then he got hard again and took out the dildo to use the his cock.  After a few strokes he got a wicked look in his eye and got the dildo and put it in my pussy with his cock and fucked me with both at the same time until I had a mind shattering climax!

I thought that was the closest I would get. Until this experience…

It all started when my friend and I got to his hotel room. They began to chat while I got on my knees in front of him and started nuzzling his groin. I love scraping my fingernails over taught pants covering a hard cock. I can feel it pulse and he can feel the vibration. I also like to put my mouth over the cock and exhale hot breath out onto the pants and cock feeling his whole groin warm up.

He stood up and I took his cock out to suck it – to explore it with my mouth – as I gently scraped my fingernails against his scrotum. I took his cock deeper and deeper with each bob of my head. I love the sensations of the smooth skin sliding in and out of my lips, the round head penetrating the back of my mouth and going down into my throat, causing the gag reflex with every few thrusts and producing ropes of saliva to help me take the hard cock in more and more smoothly.

To be continued…

Pussy Massage

My best session this week – I have a friend who I’ve seen several times.  This time he brought his lover from his home town with him.  She was a beautiful, blonde, blue eyed, curvy woman.  We had a fantastic time playing with him as planned.  Then I expanded both their minds as I used my mouth and fingers to bring her to an intense climax before his very eyes!  Neither one of them were expecting that hahaha!

I’m so grateful that my friends are proud to introduce me to their partners to have hot threesome fun.  I truly enjoy couples massage!

:::

In May I had the opportunity to record a couple of Vulva Massage Classes and I’m super excited to share the clips with you as I get them edited.  All of these clips and more are on www.NikkisLessons.com  Once you purchase them you will have to make a user account in order to view them.

Here are the clips I have up so far:

I am looking to create more content for my website.  If you are interested in filming our session let me know.  All my models are volunteer – they pay my rate for my session and donate the footage to my site.  As a thank you I give all models full access to NikkisLessons.com for the life of the site.

Special consideration on rates may be given to women and black men as those are the most requested videos and the footage I need the most.

Sensitive Sex | Tight Foreskin | Xmas Present For Wife

I love taking time with you.  With your cock.  To feel it completely – with my hands, my mouth, my pussy.  I like to go slow so you can feel every inch of me, feel the tension building, feel the penetration.  For the time that we are together I open to you – my arms, my mouth, my legs, and my heart.  I enjoy playing with you and letting you play with me.  Play we can only do in bed or on the massage table.  Sometimes play in ways we hate to love.  Exposing ourselves to each other.  Doing things together that many people wouldn’t understand.  The more vulnerable we become with each other the more intense it gets.  We explore and experiment and do new things.  Cherries popped, we near climax, and it’s hot and sweaty and messy and sticky.  We cum, clean up, and cuddle a bit before returning to reality.

I had two amazing clients this week.  One I was able to help with a foreskin issue.  He had so much fun he had me come back with Telly for another session.  We played with the head of his dick by sticking our tongues into the small opening of his foreskin and gently tonguing the super sensitive never before been exposed glans of his penis.  We licked each other in every combination possible.  We shared 3 way kisses and that is what brought me to the edge – playing with my own pussy and sharing a 3 way french kiss with the 2 of them.  When I was ready to explode Telly moved down to suck on his cock and I put my pussy on his mouth and came all over his face.  A few moments later I hear him asking where did it go?  He had cum – and Telly had swallowed it!  So intense!

My second amazing client of the week was actually a couple.  We met at the bar where I “picked her up”.  We chatted, flirted heavily, and they invited me to their room.  I did a sweet strip tease and they were kind enough to take some pictures of me in my new bra, panties and boots.  I was an early Christmas present for her.  He sat and watched as I massaged her from head to toe taking extra time to lick her sexy asshole and finger her pussy.  When she was on her back I put gloves on and penetrated her asshole nice and slow with one hand while I opened up her pussy with the other.  Using lots of lube and slow consistent penetration I gave her all she could take.  She rolled through peak after peak with me deep inside her.  We paused for a moment letting the pleasure wash over her.  When the time was right I began again this time pulling toward me with two fingers on her g-spot.  She squirted out her cum again and again shooting ejaculate at me with enough force to reach my belly (she said it was a first for her to get some projection – before then it had only been gushes).  Finally she could take no more and we rested and cleaned up before I massaged him.

I am so grateful for my skills and techniques that seem to come so intuitively and that I have the opportunity to practice them often:)

New Pics!

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Cross-Dressers, Female Orgasms, Tandem Couples Erotic Massage And More!

Wow this was an amazing weekend and I just had to share a quick overview.  Hopefully I will have time to write about some of the stories in greater detail.

The fun started Friday night when I got to meet with my cross dressing friend/client.  I will write more about this on my BDSM site MistressIvana.me but suffice it to say – HOT KINKY FUN!!!

Saturday morning my husband and I went to a workshop to learn about orgasmic meditation.  This is the website of the organization that gave the workshop http://www.onetaste.us/index.php It was an amazing experience and I can’t wait to start OMing on a regular basis!

That evening we went straight from the workshop to the Bellagio to meet with a couple that wanted to receive sensual erotic massages at the same time from my husband and I.  It was very different because he only comes on appointments with me once in a blue moon.  The couple was amazing – I hope my husband and I are as connected and happy as they were after over 30 years of marriage!

Sunday was good and busy!  I got to give a cute young man amazing anal stimulation and have hot completely satisfying sex.  Then I met with a gent who has a pantyhose/foot fetish.  We stretched his boundaries a bit and then he stretched my behind a bit as we had an orgasmic greek session followed by a very deep and completely satisfying climax for him orally.

Yes, it was a good weekend!  Now to get the brakes fixed on my car:)

Couples Pleasure Session

In preparation for a couples session I find out how long they’ve been together, what their current relationship is like, if they’ve discussed all the various foreseeable outcomes of our time together and a short sexual history for each of them.  We trouble shoot in advance the main issues that could crop up as a result of working with me and how to deal with them.  We do this via email.

Also it’s ideal to work with me for a series of sessions many of my clients come in from out of town and can only see me once.  Over the next week or so I will be sharing the process I recently went through with a couple that worked with me.

I get to the room and introduce myself and talk a bit about my week and my background to set the tone of friendliness and support.  Through discussion with her I determine her true level of comfort – up until that point I had only interacted with the husband through email.  I explain my boundaries and goals for the session.  I make sure she knows this session is about them and their pleasure, not mine.  I will be interactive only to their comfort level and at any time that could increase or decrease and that is okay.  We will have constant communication throughout the session to check in on how they are feeling and let that be our guide.

I explain to them that there are several reasons that bringing in a professional is a great choice:

  1. By having a session you are putting your experience into a container that has a beginning and an end.  Afterward, you can review what you liked and didn’t like and there’s not a lingering question of whether the experience was complete or not.
  2. You won’t be worried about any emotional romantic issues coming back to haunt your marriage.
  3. It’s a more relaxing situation than trying to pick somebody up in the bar and not knowing what you’re going to get – what their skill level is sexually or what their motives are.
  4. Whatever pleasure I give to one partner the other partner gets the credit for it.

We review their interests as a couple.  He loves massage and all touch so he will be getting a full body sensual rubdown.  Then they want to review different handjob and blowjob techniques.  For her turn she wants to be pleasured.  She’s never “been with a woman” before and this has been a very exciting idea for the two of them.

—-

Their comfort level is full nudity.  I set up the massage table and gave him instructions to undress and lay face-down while I used the restroom and wash my hands.  I come out nude and begin the massage while she sits on the bed.

As I massage him the three of us discuss our sexuality.  I ask questions about successes and challenges and share my own.  By having such an intimate atmosphere they are able to open up quickly and we are able to discuss things on a very deep level almost immediately.  When I get to the buttocks area I demonstrate and explain slow, loving touch that will be easy for her to do and very sensual and pleasurable for him to receive.  Sometimes it’s better to go slower and softer.  He likes anal stimulation but she doesn’t love to give it – she will do it sometimes as a treat.  I suggest they incorporate gloves in the bedroom.  Using gloves will increase her confidence that she will not inadvertently hurt him and it will reduce her concerns about messiness.

I demonstrate how to slowly approach the anus, massaging first the place where the legs meet the groin, the sits bones and the entire crack.  Soft long strokes one after the other relax and arouse him.  Shorter deeper strokes massaging all the muscles in the crack relax and arouse him even further.  He is going with the flow of arousal and enjoyment, opening his legs further and tilting his pelvis higher.  Applying lubrication directly to the anus I massage his outer sphincter in every direction, gently stretching and massaging it.  I get even more lube and without penetrating I press inward against his anus with the flat of my thumb.  He asks his wife to come and massage his balls.  She stands across from me with her hand on his scrotum and he reaches back and holds her other hand with his.  Their love and connection is beautiful and I’m loving being a part of it.

He’s ready for penetration and I point my thumb tip in ready to slide it into his anus.  I instruct him to take a deep breath and on his exhale I slide my thumb into him.  I stay there and just hold him, feeling the arousal running through him.  When a person is this aroused stopping and holding can be very pleasurable for them as their muscles flex and relax themselves creating their own internal massage.  Then I gently pressed in every direction.  Envisioning a clock with the tail bone being 12 and the prostate being 6 I stop at each number of the “clock” checking in with him asking how it feels.  He said good a few times and I asked him to rate it on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being not painful – that there might be discomfort but not pain and if there was any pain we needed to stop and address it immediately – and 5 being total bliss.  I continues around the “clock” and when I was twisting my wrist completely I gently pulled out my thumb and inserted my index finger.

I explained in between stops that this was extremely therapeutic – I was massaging all the pelvic floor muscles from the inside.  The arousal helps to facilitate a better pelvic floor massage because the pressure is pleasurable instead of painful.  At the prostate I touched each side and did a few different types of strokes all the time communicating with him about how each felt.   I also slid my finger in and out of his anus and asked if he liked that sensation (he didn’t).  Then I asked if he felt complete and since he did I ended that part of the treatment with gentle holding while his wife held his scrotum.

I had him move to the bed and lay on his back.  I sat cross legged on one side of him and she sat across from me.  Giving her some oil, she showed me what she normally does when massaging the groin area.  She had a great pace and touch.  I showed her several strokes, first demonstrating and then having her do them.  She was a natural!

I asked him if he thought he would like to climax and if so how he would like to do that.  He said yes and he’d like oral.  I double checked with her to make sure it was still okay and after receiving her nod of approval I bent down and took him into my mouth.  While giving him a wet, slow blow job I listen to them talk to each other about how each feels about having someone else sucking on him.  They both agree it is very hot and she says she is totally turned on.  With his cock still in my mouth I look into her eyes and reach a hand up to stroke her breast, gently scraping my nails over her nipple.  Then her husband was encouraging her to kiss me so taking my mouth off his cock I leaned across him and held my face forward letting her soft lips meet mine.  She was a fantastic kisser and after pressing our lips together we naturally opened our mouths letting our tongues touch and taste each other.  After that gentle french kiss we looked to her husband for approval and he told us it was beautiful.  I moved my hand to the back of her head letting my fingertips slide into her long hair.  I got a good grip and gave it a gentle squeeze pleasurably pulling on her scalp as I peppered her face with soft little pecks before returning to a full open mouthed kiss for the shared pleasure of the 3 of us.

His time came to an end and it was her turn.  We got very close and allowed the erotic energy to build between us.  I touched her sensually heightening her arousal.  I had her lay back on the bed and lightly ran my hands up and down her body touching everywhere but her breasts and pussy.  Each time the stroke went past I edged closer and closer until I was getting the full reactions of arousal – stretching her spine, clenching and unclenching her thighs.

I demonstrated and explained a variety of strokes to massage the vulva.  I thoroughly massaged the mons, the outer labia, the inner labia and the space between the labia.  I explained how these techniques could be used with oral as well.  Her arousal was high and I massage her clit directly, first rolling the shaft back and forth.   Then, gently holding it between my thumb and index finger I stroked it like a little tiny cock.  Using one hand to pull the hood back and exposing the glans of her clit I got extra lube and massaged it directly using super lite tiny little strokes.

Putting my face right in front of her pussy I gently blew on the entire area.  Getting my mouth full of saliva I stuck out my tongue and licked her outer labia up one side and down the next several times.  I breathed in her scent and exhaled warmly to add even more heat to her pussy.  Sticking out my tongue even further I dipped it into the crevice between her inner and outer labia and ran it up one side and down the other trailing below her hole across the perenium on the bottom and over the clit hood on the top.  I tasted her tanginess and kept the ovals going until I couldn’t taste it anymore.  Then I moved on to her inner labia.  They were nice and thick and pink and first I sucked on one at a time and then gently used my teeth to scrape and suck simultaneously.  Then I sucked both of them into my mouth and alternated between sucking and gently nibbling and worked my way up to her clit hoof.  Reaching the hood I made wet circles around her clit over and over.  Then I licked directly onto her clitoris, gently at first and then slowly building up pressure pressing in toward the center of her body.

I asked if she felt ready for penetration and she definitely was.  I inserted one finger and explored her vaginal opening massaging the urethral tissue and the surrounding erectile tissue.  I asked her what felt better and applied pressure at various depths.  After finding the best spot I did several different types of strokes and asked her what felt best.  Having discovered that I rhythmically rubbed inside her pussy with one hand and using my other I rubbed her clit.  After awhile I explored deeper into her and found her cervix.  I asked if it felt good for me to touch it and demonstrated several different strokes and  pressures.  With my hand so deep in her I was able to use my thumb to stroke her clitoris on the outside as I simultaneously massaged her cervix deep inside.

She became extremely aroused and then there was a change in her.  She wanted to cum but wasn’t cumming.  Her husband suggested the vibrator and the deep private issues started coming out.  She shared about how she didn’t like having to use the vibrator, that somehow it made her feel like less of a woman since she couldn’t achieve orgasm “naturally”.  I listened to  her.  I let her know that I heard her and understood her and could totally relate.  I’ve had the same issues myself.  While continuing to gently and lovingly massage her vagina and vulva I shared my learning in this area.  As I shared each insight I asked her if she could relate or if it made sense to her.

I’ve learned that I put a lot of pressure on myself to reach orgasm.  If I masturbate or have sex and don’t have an orgasm there’s a part of me that feels like it was a waste of time.  But it usually also seems like the harder I try to reach orgasm the more difficult it becomes.  The feelings of frustration and impending disappointment coupled with harder self stimulation just makes it worse.  And then, once and orgasm comes I feel totally sore – in my vulva from the rubbing and in my arm and hand from the exertion.

I found out that I need to be more loving to myself and accepting.  I am not vibrator dependent for my orgasms but there is nothing wrong with it if you are.  Some people are dependent on more extreme things than vibrators!  Imagine not being able to climax without being bound and gagged!  Or, like many men, being completely dependent or pornography.  The self – judgment about the vibrator is coming from some beliefs and old programs that aren’t working anymore.  Beliefs can be changed!  Start looking at the vibrator as a tool and having gratitude that it is so accessible.

I also learned a lot about myself during a 30 day masturbation meditation practice.  I practiced mindful masturbation everyday for 30 minutes.  I went through a lot of emotions and beliefs but the outcome was amazing.  I suggested she do it for several reasons.  She would get to know her body more intimately and that would make intimacy with her husband more pleasurable.  Being mindful masturbation, there is no goal of orgasm.  Because of that she would be giving herself permission to just feel the pleasure and enjoy the pleasure.  She might even find out (like I did) that she is having orgasms that she’s not recognizing as orgasms because they are deeper and subtler.  Before my masturbation meditation I only recognized clitoral orgasms but now I also recognize the cervix and g-spot orgasms that are not as sharp and all-consuming.  Another benefit of the practice was my vulva became more sensitive and that also made partner sex more pleasurable.  I was able to see how self massage could arouse me and how self pleasure could be pleasant even without the sharp climax of a clitoral orgasm.  On day 17 a change happened for me and it was like my pussy woke up!  I was stimulated easily and from a variety of things from walking and riding in the car to solo sex and partner sex.  Another benefit of the daily practice is that the pressure for a good experience is removed.  If you have a session that is less than ideal then no big deal since you’ll be doing it again the next day.  Also, doing it everyday gives you the space for experimentation – using different lubes and toys, different types of touch or different fantasies.  Using a mirror and seeing yourself and connecting with yourself is something you will have time to do.  There are many terrific reasons to have a mindful meditation practice!

Our time came to an end.  I let them know they could email me or call me if they had a  few questions or if they wanted more guidance I’d be happy to work with them on that level.  I wished them luck on the tables so maybe they could see me again before they had to leave town.